I Raked a Roof Today

Listen, Ice Queen -

My Hans are FROZEN Anna can't feel my face.
Go pick on someone Elsa, 'cause I'm about to move from this place!
I'm Kristoff about this weather, and you're not being very nice.
Get back on your Norwegian cruise line or we're seriously gonna fight.

Olaf you {I'm lying},


{p.s. See what I did there? Womp, womp.}

Sigh. I yelled about the groundhog a few weeks ago, and now I'm yelling about 'ol blondie. I'm sorry you all had to read that - but it's gettin' MIGHTY cray over in this snow-covered turtleneck of the woods. I love the seasons and all, but Mama Naytcha is fancyin' some serious winter spice this year. {Lawd!}

Want to know what I did today? I raked a roof. A freaking ROOF! Here's how it went down...

So, this morning I had an eye appointment {no bigs - just a check up} and was told that my vision was getting BETTER! What? I'll take it. I was feeling all youthful, and then it happened. I turned the corner near the front desk and caught a glance out the window. It was snowing. Again. I knew I wasn't just seeing things because the doc just told me my dang eyes improved! {Barf!}

When I got home, the Hubs was getting ready to fire up the snow blower, and I thought, ya know what? Help out, Dee. Suit up and get your toosh outside too. Hubs had a roof rake all set to go, so I went bizalls to the walls and took on the challenge. I decided that if we were gonna tame this beast, we better do it in style. Here's how the next part of my day went down...in Seven Stupid Steps!

1. {B is for Beats}
Hey, Good Lookin! Sky's the Limit, ya Buffalo Soldier! The 3 Bs: Buffet, Biggie + Bob. Why listen to the gross slushy ridiculousness that you're cleaning up? Drown that sheezie right out with a nice mix of melodic magic.

2. {Coats Magoats}
Don't wear an old jank jacket. Prance in a peacoat! Kelly green did the trick for me today. It reminded me of grass the whole time. {Or Gumby. Both are equally uplifting.}

3. {Dream Big}
So I looked at the snow and thought I should think of the frosty piles as something I was getting for free. I love a good discount, so I figured I'd put a little pep in my step if I related this shiz to shopping. I pretended that I was scooping up free powdered sugar for my very own little bakery {Bucket List}. Pretty sure I thief'd enough shuggie to make enough buckeyes to feed the entire population of Ohio times a gajillion. Plus a bajillion. Times 2 championships.

4. {Shades}
They'll keep you lookin' fresh and will block any windy mess.

5. {Heat wave}
When you're dunzo...go inside, crank up the heat, bust out a tank top and take a nap. You deserve it, honey. Even if your heating bill will go up a few hundred Bennys...you deserved that quick little staycation, quite Franklin. Err, I mean, frankly.

6. {Coppertone}
Never underestimate the value of sun tan lotion. Keep it in your casa year-round. Just pop the top, close your eyes and drift off to a land of Miami vices, balmy temps and palm trees. Such a nice, quick, aromatic lil pick me up. Breathe it in, babes.

7. {Cheers}
Toast to your success with a glass that will impress! Cap off your day with something tay-stay!

{Stay tuned for a pic of what we had. Camera battery legit froze up.}

As God is my witness, my CoCo-nuts, I will neva...eva...EVA...complain about the heat. I mean it! You read it here. No complaints. Not a one! 

{Who am I kidding? Yes I will.}

Until next time...

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