Long Hair Don't Care

I'm gonna get right down to business today.

#LongHairDontCare

I know I'm way past my prime with this long mane 'o mine...but I just can't let go. Here's a story about hair that I'd like to share...

I was born with a shock of Italian Bambina locks...and was suddenly a baldy until my 3rd birthday.

Then, as soon as I blew out those three tiny candles on top of that Strawberry Shortcake-themed sugary baked goodness, I was a curly, short-haired brownie for a while.

Shoe thief.

After a short 2-year stint as Lil Orphan Annie from Sicily...long, lean and lengthy since Kindergarten it was!

A perm snuck in sometime around 4th grade and eventually faded away...and I can't forget the bangs. {Ohhhh da bangs!} They were always there - Bee Eff Effs - AquaNet, barrel brush, curling iron. BLAM!

I promised myself when this picture was taken that it
would never see the light of day. I'mma girl of my word! 

Until April 25, 1998.

I vividly remember the day I accidentally chopped my hair to my chin because of my impatient self. My darling college roomie had always given me a quick trim, but she was away one weekend and I thought I could "just add a few layers" and keep on keepin on.

The joke was on me. By the time she got back, the damage was done. My 'do didn't even resemble a mullet...I was rockin' a dang MUSHROOM. I cut the layers BACK instead of angled down. I couldn't reach the back, so "I left it there for the length."

Clicking this pic counts as a vote!
Love you!

The next day, my besties staged an intervention. They had a come to Jesus talk with me, held my hand and chopped the "shroom stem." For the first time in my life...I had a bob. No biggie for some. Not at all. Nope. But when you have a MOON FACE, chicklet teeth, cheeks that dig into your eyes because you laugh so hard at everything, frizzy genes and 2 dimples...things can be pretty overwhelming. {And ROUND!!!}

{Someday I'll be brave enough to share a photo of the disaster!}

You gotta try to level that ish out, ya know? So...I waited. And, it all grew back. And, here I am in my 30s...{Gasp! I mean Golden 29s} still sportin' a long chocolatey brunette straight cut with an occasional Vergara-esque wavy edge moment. So there's my story. Got one to share? Tell me! I'll shape mine up above the shoulders someday, but until then, let's just chat about straightening irons!

One of my blondie besties, whom you all affectionately know as {Jenny-Jen} on here, gifted me an Ultra CHI 1" Iron. I've proclaimed my appreciation for her friendship more times than I can count...but who's counting?! Here I go again! After a nice chat with her about the many Straighteners of Our Lives {temperatures, plate size, price...TURNOVER!} many moons ago, she soon showed up on my doorstep with a baby blue beauty.

I never really found a loyal S-iron until I delightedly met the Ultra CHI. Due to those Monica genes I mentioned a few paragraphs ago, I was a bit skeptical about its slim shape. Mama Dee needs somethin' fierce to fight this frazzle, ya know?

You know which Monica!!! And, you know which episode!

Well, low and behold, Quiet Thunder. This straightener is a dang BOSS. She packs quite a powerful punch! When I really take time to use it {instead of rushing and inevitably missing a stray TIDAL WAVE in the back of my head}, it feels like I just stepped out of a salon. The 'do feels bouncy and healthy {when my split ends are tamed and the forecast doesn't call for a single drop of humidity or rain}. It heats up in a flash and stays at a "healthy" hot. I haven't seen any steam or heard any sizzle yet! It's a good sign of its longevity when I can't remember exactly when I received it! {I hope karma doesn't read this and jinx me, yo.}

So there ya go...a long history about why I'll probably be Ms. Loren-ing it up in my 80s and a shout out to a hair straightener. Happy Wickedly Random Wednesday!

What kind of straightener do you use? Tell me, pretty please!